FEAR: doorway to freedom
Posted by Robin Easton
I used to live in Queensland, Australia in an ancient rainforest, far from civilization, modern conveniences and technology. At first everything frightened me: poisonous snakes, spiders, jellyfish, sea snakes, crocs, stinging trees, ticks and leeches. But when I finally opened my mind and spirit to these creatures they became the most powerful teachers in my life. They taught me that most of my fear was of the “unknown” and lay in my imagination. It had little to do with the rainforest and its supposed monsters.
In the rainforest I had to be aware not to step on, sit on or threaten a snake into possibly striking. It’s not as if there was a mass of slithering spaghetti everywhere I went. The only place it was like that was in my mind. It is also a total fallacy and movie maker that snakes seek out humans to bite them; that’s not reality. Most snakes avoid humans whenever possible. Nonetheless I had to keep my eyes open. When I first went into the forest I was angry because I didn’t want to be that aware. I didn’t want to watch out for anything. (You probably are wondering why I went to Australia, but that is another story that will have to be shared later.) But I can tell you about my fear. At first I wanted to tantrum like a naughty kid because everything was so deadly. My thoughts went like this; “I don”t like this and somebody better change it, right now! Why did I marry an Australian? I’m used to bungling along; I’ve done it all my life. Why should I have to do any different now? Who put all these creepy crawlies here anyway?” As much as I loved nature (even at that time) I was being asked to grow in a much deeper way, one that would connect me to all life and change me forever.
As my fear came to light, due to these potentially deadly creatures, I was forced to make a choice. I could either explore my fear or I could slam the door shut on it, padlock the door and walk away. But wait! I could try to close the FEAR DOOR on poisonous snakes but I still saw three more open FEAR DOORS in front of me, three more opportunities to grow and expand my world. Door one: I feared losing my husband to some horrible fate. I would die without him. Door two: my fear of being completely alone in the entire world. Door three: my fear of death. In my mind, behind all the doors lay a big black hole, and I didn’t even want to look at that, and yet…
I suddenly realized that if I closed and padlocked all the FEAR DOORS I would then be trapped in this limited little room, truly alone, unable to go anywhere. Or at the very least I would be seriously handicapped. The boundaries of my world would be defined by my fear. I stood in the center of the room and realized two things. The first insight: at the very bottom of ALL my fears lay the fear of death. That was the black hole. So I was dealing with only one fear triggered by different things. That made it immediately easier for me; I could explore death. The second insight: I could NOT trap Robin. I could not cage a woman’s heart that beats like a eagle. To breathe freely, to expand my world as high as an eagle’s heaven meant that I MUST take steps toward my FEAR DOORS, unlock the padlocks, open the doors and look inside. Behind those doors lay my path to freedom. I instinctively knew in my heart that through the darkness of the black hole lay the light beyond, a place where I would not be bound by fear, a vast unlimited place where the world would be my oyster. I didn’t have to do it all at once, but for the sake of my soul, for the sake of freedom, I HAD TO FACE MY FEARS. All my fears.
With time in the forest I realized that I was just like the rest of life in the jungle. I was the bird that watches for the slow slither of a snake. I was the insect that watches for the snap of a bird’s beak. I had reentered the food chain (so to speak) and if I wanted to stay alive I too had to be aware for the first time in my life, rightly so. As it should be. These potentially deadly creatures brought about my awakening and I grew to be very comfortable in the forest or when confronted with a poisonous snake. I grew confident and strong and knew who I was. I also knew that there would always be things that might frighten me but I would never let fear limit me, ever again. I fell in love with the forest, the trees and all of its creatures. I fell in love with Life.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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This Site: © Robin Easton
Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
Blog: http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
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21 Comments so far...
timethief Says:
23 May 2008 at 5:42 pm.
Dear Robin,
Thank you so much for your generosity and kindness. I’m so overcome that I don’t know what else to say. The truth is that I frequently have to go inside and hold that little girl’s hand and encourage her to walk in the light again.
Namaste’
(I salute the divine light within both thee and me, within us, in that time and space wherein we are one.)
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Theresa111 Says:
23 May 2008 at 7:20 pm.
You are so lovely. Your writing takes my breath away. I cannot wait to show your work to my husband. Cheers!
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K. Fields Says:
23 May 2008 at 7:27 pm.
I love your blog. You have led an interesting life already and you look so young! Awesome writing, makes me feel like I am there with you on your adventures.
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amzolt Says:
23 May 2008 at 9:52 pm.
There’s another quote of Eleanor’s I love and, when I searched for it, I found out it’s on a fridge magnet, too!
http://www.buzzflash.com/store/items/1104
Eleanor Roosevelt “Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You” Fridge Magnet (Vertical, Metallic, 2″ x 3″)
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Sandpiper Says:
24 May 2008 at 8:18 am.
A wonderful story about growth and opening one’s eyes to new opportunities. Grab hold and life only becomes richer. A fantastic post, Robin!
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Benny Greenberg Says:
24 May 2008 at 9:14 am.
Robin –
I feel so honored. I do not believe anything has ever been dedicated to me… So you are my first. I am glad that even if the difference is small – I can help you and your readers make it in their lives.
Benny -
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Graham Says:
24 May 2008 at 3:34 pm.
“I fell in love with life”…. those words say so much about you, Robin. Your accounts of your experiences in the rainforest are always inspiring, providing us with an insight into the trials and challenges of becoming one with the world. You are a lady of true warmth and wisdom. I truly look forward to reading so much more.
Have a wonderful weekend 
ps, You have the most wonderful smile
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ssgreylord Says:
24 May 2008 at 8:58 pm.
What beautiful words on fear. And an inspiring quote at the end that we all should live by. I loved your comparisons to nature-great references…
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Marc Says:
24 May 2008 at 10:50 pm.
Awesome as always Robin! At an early age I read Frank Herbert’s book, Dune, and since then the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear has helped to get me through many situations, both in the city and in the BC wilds.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
The freedom from fear is truly the freedom to live.
Cheers, Marc
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Lilly Says:
25 May 2008 at 3:56 am.
Robin, you express yourself so well and I love how you used the best teacher of all, mother nature, to learn life’s great lessons from. Have you thought of a short book maybe using emotions then writing about them in the context of what nature has taught you, love, fear, anger, surprise, hurt etc etc. I have learnt a lot about fear in the past couple of years. If you dont risk anything you risk even more. Beautiful photos as usual Robin! PS You also have the most dazzling and beautiful smile!!!!
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the fearless blog Says:
25 May 2008 at 8:45 am.
I have enjoyed reading all of your posts, but this one in particular so far is my favorite. I clearly understand. To fear and still to act in the face of such fear and to love that which we fear even though we fear it, oh my it is an amazing thrill. We do not have to climb Mt. Everest to live an adventure and to feel alive. Our life as it is, where ever it is and with whomever it is, is an adventure always, a blessing and a thrill. Few ever appreciate the moments and the short time we have been allowed to laugh and cry here, but those who realize the value of living, breathe it and sing it everyday so the world can hear, so the world can know.
Bravo my friend!
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horatio salt Says:
25 May 2008 at 4:02 pm.
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” ~ Bertrand Russell
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Stacey Huston Says:
26 May 2008 at 1:38 pm.
Hello dear Robin.
I am so glad that you got to experience all that you did in Australia. Only someone as gifted as you would be able to teach people by your experiences.
I know what you mean about “reentering the food chain” each time I enter these wonderful woods I know that I am an active part of the food chain, not just the top of it, but I would much rather find my place here on natures terms than in the city where I don’t know how to communicate or survive.
Beautiful post today and you are so correct in facing our fears and growing for it.
Have a beautiful week~ Stacey
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soulMerlin Says:
26 May 2008 at 4:28 pm.
great post….Fear. The thing is, Fear is like a magnet in that it can and will draw the actualisation of the feared object or situation. When I got flashed by a speed camera a few weeks ago, I was flashed again the following day because I was so worried about it. When I fell over the wall, I worried about it so much that I fell in the orchestra pit (not drunk..promise
Your words are so true – fear has stopped me doing so many things
henry
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DrowseyMonkey Says:
26 May 2008 at 7:08 pm.
That was amazing. I’ve never thought of it that way … I like the idea of the “fear door” … that puts a different perspective on a few things I’m assessing in my life right now. Thanks for that!
You reminded me a bit of my cousin, when he moved to Australia he was terrified of spiders, now he delights in emailing me photos of creepy crawlies all the time! Yes, big fears of all those things for me still, lol.
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David Says:
26 May 2008 at 7:42 pm.
Interesting post. I can remember as a child being fascinated by the things we found in the woods. Snakes and lizards being at the top of the list. I am not sure if death is frightening. I was almost there as a child for awhile and remember things got more peaceful as it got closer. But pain frightens me a lot. Being able to fly and not have a body sounds appealing. But I don’t think of it as loss of identity. It’s the pain that really bothers me. How much pain can you endure? I just finished watching The Tutors on Showtime tonight. Henry VIII is having people tortured. That’s really, really scary.
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A's journey Says:
26 May 2008 at 11:12 pm.
So inspiring post you wrote here, it truly encourages the one who reads it. It’s true that we learn a lot from facing our fears. Now I see the fear to death as a fear to get separated to what we have learned to love: our loved ones… our lives. But I think this is one of the most deep fears that generally no one can be trained to face. I’m afraid of it. Maybe more than the average persons of my age, because until now I haven’t experienced it yet: no one of my nearest family has died yet. Perhaps we could grasp such experience when we count the people we loved but that we had to learn to say good bye to permanently, although they’ve not passed away. Perhaps. I’m not completely sure. I’m just trying to find a way to get through the darkness, just as you. Trying to get prepared for it.
And the heart, a woman’s heart, being as lively and vigorous as an eagle, is certainly not possible to be separated from the open for long. Wise lines Robin, I like them veeeery much Take care!
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David Says:
27 May 2008 at 9:36 am.
Thank you very much for your comments Robin. This is a very special moment in my blogging life and life in general for that matter as I read your words.
We are all unique and lovely in God’s eyes.
And you are our Guide! Shining Example?
Scout Master?
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Mel Says:
28 May 2008 at 9:28 pm.
Dear Robin,
This is a lovely post. It’s so true. Some times (maybe too many) we don’t even try new things because of fear. Fear of words, feelings, people, environment, etc.
I’ve been afraid of many things in the past, and even though I’m still scared of some things, I’ve tried to conquer my fears one at a time, sometimes without luck, but at least I tried.
Thank you for posting another part of your soul.
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Christina Says:
29 May 2008 at 6:20 am.
Robin, found this article on Reddit.com, and I absolutely agree w/your ‘fear of death’ insight. I think most fears, if not all, are basically, at root level, fear of death.
As a Christian, I have over the years done a decent amount of Bible reading, and this brings to mind a verse in the New Testament that seems to address this issue: “And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” (speaking of Jesus Christ).
On a personal note, I am strongly attracted to the Rainforest, but you will NEVER find me there! and I applaud you for living through that challenge. You must have an extraordinary life.
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Liara Covert Says:
6 June 2009 at 1:06 pm.
Moving to Australia also transformed my life, in more ways than I ever expected. Its about more than reconnecting with earth, although this is definitely part of it…Check out:
http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2007/3/29/the-biggest-risk-ever.html
and the follow up, #2 and #3. Then, the unfolding dream book is another story.
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