What is Your Essence?
Posted by Robin Easton
Today I introduce a friend of mine, Linda Wolf. Linda writes a beautiful blog titled, Insanely Serene (click title), a blog devoted to her passion for peace of mind and serenity. She shares her experiences and offers practical suggestions for moving from low self-esteem to powerful self-confidence. I highly recommend that you visit her site and get to know Linda. Both she and her writing are compelling, solid and highly insightful. I always go away feeling like I’m dealing with someone who knows how to be their authentic self. To top it off she is exceedingly kind and honest. You can also find Linda on Twitter at @insanelyserene.
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What is Your Essence?
By Linda Wolf
Reading Robin’s post “Down to the Bone” was a blast of fresh air. I imagined her striding along through the forest, and could almost smell the wind blowing her long hair back. She bared her soul to her readers, in gratitude, and shared with us the gift of her essence. I glimpsed the source of the love that informs her writing, her responses to others, her work.
And the metaphor fascinates me. What is at the core, when we strip away artifice and self-concealment, all the layers we build up to form our personas, our facades? I’ve wondered this about myself. Asked myself questions like, “How would I have handled being a prisoner in a concentration camp?” And more recently, the way my life partner puts it, what would I do if I was suddenly “naked in the street in Brooklyn in the middle of winter with no money and no friends”?
While I’ll never really know (I hope), I can imagine myself in these situations in order to face down some of my worst fears. To know my true self. And in doing so, I’ve found that I really do believe I’ll be okay. But how did I get there?
I was not always willing to look at my fears. I lived in a gray world for much of my young adulthood, suffering from depression. I experienced neither highs nor lows, but rather numbness. And yet some part of me drove me toward self-examination, because I wanted to feel better.
Over time I’ve taken a slow but steady path toward self-revelation. I could only take so much in the beginning; a little bit of self-truth can go a long way. But my commitment never wavered, and thus the process has slowly sunk in so that today I am rigorously self-honest, down to my bones. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be my best self. I will flay myself open, expose my flaws to the sun, examine and admit them, so they can be burned out, or perhaps transformed into assets.
Along the way, I’ve discovered many truths about myself. That I’m patient, kind, and compassionate. That my ability to see multiple perspectives is a gift. That it is possible for me to love people without having to like them, or even know them. That I have a passion for seeking peace of mind and helping others find self-love and serenity.
My path continues to unfold and I am okay with uncertainty. I don’t have to know the outcome. I can only do what feels right to do next. For the rest, I trust that I am indeed on the right path and it is likely to reveal wonders even better than I can imagine.
What is your essence, and how do you face yourself down? Robin described her walk as a way to strip down to the bone. For me, it’s unflinching self-honesty. We would love to hear from you.
Here are some questions to start the conversation:
ï‚• What has been your path to yourself?
ï‚• Can you recognize your layers and dig through them?
ï‚• What are the lies you tell yourself?
ï‚• What truths are buried below, do you know?
ï‚• What is your path? Your passion?
ï‚• Why are you here on earth, what is your gift?
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This Site: © Robin Easton
Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
Blog:http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
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51 Comments so far...
John - Zen-Moments Says:
29 March 2010 at 4:08 pm.
Something you said especially caught my attention, and I strongly feel that.
“That it is possible for me to love people without having to like them, or even know them.”
This is an essence of being human. Many would argue that it is not “essential,” but it is truly a human “essence” and it is therefore essential to our spirit.
John
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 7:32 am
Hi Linda, John and all you wonderful souls!! I too like this part that John has picked out (up above). I think when we are able to recognize the distinction between “love/but don’t like”, and we embrace it without guilt, we are MUCH better equipped to set boundaries. We are more at ease with, “I love, but I don’t like this behavior.” We aren’t as apt to let those we might love, but whom are acting inappropriately, abuse us. And in setting cleaner boundaries we aren’t as apt to hold grudges because we are taking care of and honoring ourselves. We are being true to our core essence. Sorry for awkward wording there, hope it’s still clear. Thank you so much Linda for such lovely post and wonderfully insightful comments. And thanks to those who have shared their hearts here. Beautiful read!! Hugs, Robin
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Robin, yes, very clear and I agree with you about boundaries being easier to set and keep when we can have compassion (but not attachment) for others. Knowing I’m responsible for my feelings and reactions, and others are responsible for theirs, frees me to get clear on what I need, how to ask for it, and how to protect myself if under threat. Your readers are beautiful, I am really enjoying the back and forth on this topic. Best, Linda
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uberVU - social comments Says:
29 March 2010 at 5:37 pm.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by ZenMoments: RT @RobinEaston What is Your Essence? http://bit.ly/8Y1lAj...
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Says:
29 March 2010 at 8:21 pm.
Robin,
Thank you for the opportunity to guest post on Naked in Eden, I am very honored. And your introduction is lovely and heartfelt. I appreciate your writing and your path as well. There is much that you say that resonates for me, the entire concept of Naked in Eden – baring your soul, becoming naked before the universe, your essential self, and finding paradise within. I admire the joy that radiates from your work, and aspire to some of that positivity.
Linda
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Robin Easton Says:
29 March 2010 at 8:51 pm.
I just love this post Linda! Something I experienced the very first time I read your work was a pure sense of authenticity. I thought, “Here is woman who strives to be who she really is.” I noticed in reading your posts that your sentiments and insights left me feeling more myself. I felt no pressure at “your place” to be anything other than what I truly am. I would go away feeling stripped down to my core in a very clean and beautiful way. I so admire that not only in you but in your work. Just in you being YOU, you encourage others to be their most authentic selves. John – ZenMoments is another soul who is very much like you. What you see is what you get. I treasure that. And dear Linda, I can’t tell you how much this post means to me. As I told you, you are a miracle that fell from the stars right when I needed it. 
Thank you. Hugs, Robin PS: I just LOVE this question you raise: “What are the lies you tell yourself?” THAT is a powerful one, as lies can take so many forms.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Says:
30 March 2010 at 5:43 am.
Robin,
Thank you for the kind words, I do hope to help others find their true selves. It’s so nice to find others like you who are so powerfully on the path.
Linda
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The Exception Says:
30 March 2010 at 5:45 am.
This is a wonderful post with so much to consider. So much of it comes down to knowing that things are as they are meant to be – even though that can be somewhat frightening. When my daughter was 13 months old, I was laid off. As a single mother living in the Midwest with my family 1000 miles away, I found myself feeling quite scared. It was the need to take care of my daughter but also the battle of my ego and the insecurities that rose from being laid off.
And it worked – I think back on that moment now and again to remind myself that things work. We are where we are meant to be even when times are hard or the path isn’t taking the direction we would like. I find myself continually grateful for the rocks and the twists in the journey as I find more in myself.
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Linda Wolf Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 10:30 am
Thank you for your thoughts and you make a good point about looking back at former crises to see that we have indeed weathered them, and in most cases, come out the better for them. I do that, too, trying to remind myself that I am always taken care of, when I just do the next right thing for myself. It sounds like you’ve made tremendous progress and achieved a great deal raising a daughter by yourself.
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Evita Says:
30 March 2010 at 5:56 am.
Hello Linda
What a beautiful piece. I often consider too what is left when we remove all of our masks, all of our facades….
It seems we try so hard at times to be who we are not, and I agree, Robin’s last post was so perfect for its simplicity and authenticity.
Thank you Robin for sharing Linda’s voice here!
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Linda Wolf Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Good to hear from you, Evita. I agree and for myself I have worried far too much about what other people think of me, trying to be something I’m not, afraid to just be myself. My goal is to elminiate that fear, forever. Think I’m too ambitious? -Linda
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Nadia - Happy Lotus Says:
30 March 2010 at 6:23 am.
Hi Linda and Robin,
Deep in my heart and soul, I believe that people are aware of what is happening within them. The thing is that not many people are wiling to face those issues and deal with them.
Personally, my way of facing myself is a combination of both of your methods. Every morning, I go for an hour long walk and just take inventory of what is happening within. It is a wonderful way to start the day because it just centers me and clears my head.
As for my essence, I think my essence is rooted in love, strength and really trying to be as authentic as possible. Spirituality is vital for me, I truly want to live what I read and speak.
Blessings to you both!
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Linda Wolf Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Nadia, I agree – everyone has the inner knowledge, but some of us are closer to it than others, able to bring it to consciousness and address it, while others stay in denial all their lives. No judgment there, it just is. I do wonder, though, what makes some people seek and others hide. -Linda
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Hilary Says:
30 March 2010 at 9:39 am.
Hi Linda and Robin .. this uncovering of ourselves is so important – at the moment life is very difficult for more reasons than I care to say here for now – while life unfolds around me .. and my mother – as a friend put it recently – you’re on an ‘interesting’ journey .. not sure I’d put it that way – but uncovering is not far off – the bones are exposed … I have the strength .. and that’s what I hold on to. Just so glad there’s this community to learn from ..
Good to meet you Linda – and a wonderful guest, Robin … all the best – Hilary
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Linda Wolf Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Hilary, wonderful to meet you here, too. Robin has such a wonderful community, I really enjoy visiting here, and am thrilled to be a part of it with a guest post. I send you lots of good energy in your journey, and lots of support and comfort around you as you expose your inner workings. Keep in touch. -Linda
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Authenticity: My Guest Post on Naked in Eden « Insanely Serene Says:
30 March 2010 at 1:11 pm.
[...] of her soul. And it was beautiful. So I’ve written a companion piece, entitled, “What is Your Essence?,” and she has posted it today. I hope you’ll read it and then some of Robin’s [...]
Ryan Hanzel Says:
30 March 2010 at 1:58 pm.
Excellent post! I am still figuring out my essence. My biggest thing is dealing with the turbulence people like to create around me. Well that is for the moment and what I am currently working myself through. Usually I am pretty good but this time around it is pretty bad so learning some more life lessons here. I really enjoyed your post Linda!
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Ryan, Thanks so much for coming by and commenting…interesting challenge you’ve got. I learned how to detach from others the hard way – in a relationship with someone who pushed all my buttons – and to stay calm and centered within myself no matter how others were reacting. I wish you luck in your current work – you must have some interesting personalities around you in your situation. Best, Linda
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Tess The Bold Life Says:
30 March 2010 at 3:48 pm.
When I strip down to bare bones I see that I am you and you are me. I don’t have to embellish who I am and neither do you. If I think I have to impress I’m wrong. I’m here to know my own perfection by seeing it in others. Nice post!
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Thanks, Tess, really appreciate that you read and shared your thoughts. I like it, just wish I could live it. One of my greatest flaws is worrying what others think of me. Intellectually I believe we are all one, interconnected, but in practice, it just isn’t real. I must worry about what others think because I have self-judgments. Letting go of those is like stripping naked – what is left? And that is the challenge. -Linda
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Mike King Says:
30 March 2010 at 10:12 pm.
Wonderful thoughts and comments here. The questions are very dear to me and in fact, I asked a couple of them today with a colleague at the office. What path led you to here? and What are your passions for this life of yours? These reflective questions seem to cycle in my subconscious I have such value on them and they motivate and strengthen my beliefs in myself and in the potential of others to seek that understanding I’ve been gifted for those I can influence. I’m amazed everyday to learn new things and skills I never let surface and at the same time, impressed by how God subtly forces those lessons upon me (like learning patience) to change me to be a better person. It happens even day once you start to take notice and it leaves my soul in awe, wonder and amazement for what is next in store for me in this great life. Anyway, I’m really enjoying the discussions and articles here Robin, you’ve connected a great set of thoughtful people who can impact the world with their love….I’m happy to share a sliver of that experience!
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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord Says:
31 March 2010 at 1:40 pm.
Hi, Linda!
What a wonderful piece to read (thank you, Robin, for introducing us to Linda!). I was especially drawn to this sentence: “My path continues to unfold and I am okay with uncertainty. I don’t have to know the outcome.” I am exactly there right now in my life. I’ve reached a point (or it’s reached me!) where longing is sort of fading away. Success? What is that anyway? Accomplishment? If I’m breathing, I’m accomplishing. It’s a strange feeling, because I do not recognize myself as one who doesn’t want. I’ve always had strong desires, propelling me forward. And now I find myself just observing, serving as witness to some strange transformation that’s taking place within me (into a couch potato, perhaps?!! Who knows and who cares!).
Thank you for what you wrote & shared here today. It has done me a world of good!
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Megan, So wonderful to read your comments – I just popped over to your blog and read your post – your journey sounds fascinating, this expanding non-ness – interesting! Sounds good, though, very peaceful. Are you on Twitter? -Linda
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Says:
31 March 2010 at 3:14 pm.
Mike,
So nice to hear from you and to discover your blog as well. Your interests are wide ranging – mountain unicycling??!! How amazing. I’m so glad this post was of interest to you – I’m always fascinated to hear other people’s stories of discovery and passion. I am intrigued right now with what makes some people love the self-reflective life – even when it means looking at the good, the bad, and the ugly – and what makes others stay holed up in denial their whole lives. Were you always interested in looking inside and turning yourself out to become your best self?
Linda
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Cheryl Paris Says:
1 April 2010 at 4:42 am.
Hello Linda,
How are you? Beautiful and down to earth feelings have been posted.
There are few lines which caught my attention –
*That I have a passion for seeking peace of mind and helping others find self-love and serenity.
*That it is possible for me to love people without having to like them, or even know them.
* I am okay with uncertainty.
We uncover so many truths about ourselves when trying to live our life. Each lesson in life is very meaningful and allows us to become a better person for the future.
Bye for now,
Cheryl
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 2nd, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Cheryl,
Thank you for the kinds words. I’m glad some of it resonated with you. I love to hear other people’s stories of seeking the truth about themselves, their true selves. What is your story?
Linda
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Lauren Says:
1 April 2010 at 11:31 pm.
Ugh oh…I just wrote a lengthy response and alas it ended up with all the lost messages in Cyberspace. May they rest in peace!
Your post is provocative in the best sense of the word. It gave me an opportunity to turn inward and question and probe.
I realized that without initially recognizing it, I have been a seeker most of my life. Now, I don’t really feel like I’m seeking, but rather embracing.
Knowing at a young age what it felt like to be on the fringes rather than in the mix, I think I’ve always felt compassion for the “underdog”.
I do my best to be honest with others and myself, yet the willingness to go to the bone with it, as you speak of, demonstrates a tremendous degree of courage on your part. I recognize I still fool myself at times and that is okay. We unfold in the most mysterious of ways!
And Robin, what a tremendous gift YOU are! I want to thank you for your kind words (I responded on my blog). Your generous love warms my heart. You are magnificent!
Warmest Regards,
Lauren
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 2nd, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Lauren,
So glad to hear your thoughts, even if you lost the first draft! Must have been meant for the universe’s ears only. ;->
I can relate to being on the fringes rather than in the mix. I think it contributed to, or was caused by (chicken or the egg?) my ability to see many sides of the story, many perspectives.
I think you hit an excellent point about willingness – even if we make mistakes, even if we lie to ourselves here and there, even if we can’t face the truth just yet, if we are WILLING to look, even willing to be willing, we are so much farther down the road.
So wonderful to meet you here. Thank you.
Linda
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elegantnodes Says:
2 April 2010 at 8:38 pm.
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Walter Says:
3 April 2010 at 5:52 am.
Life is all lessons. I always believe that the purpose of our existence is to discover our true inner self, which is beyond our mind and our bodies. Despite the fact that we are slaves to the laws of our physical limitations, we have been bestowed with the power to defy our nature.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 9:24 am
Walter,
I so agree. And I am SO curious about what makes some people willing to defy their nature and some stay stuck in denial and comfortable discomfort. Any ideas?
Linda
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Michael C. Dewey Says:
3 April 2010 at 4:04 pm.
Mind Blowing. Will have to work on getting myself down to the bone. Got some bad habits which I must free myself from. But I am trying to serve Mankind, and not as food.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 9:23 am
Michael,
Hilarious! There’s a difference between scouring your soul for your self-improvement and chewing yourself down to the bone – right? Good luck in your work. 
Linda
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Keeper Says:
5 April 2010 at 12:14 pm.
I am ever changing, far from the audacious person I once was. I am no longer the center of the universe, but only a mere cog in the great wheel..
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 4:57 am
Thanks for coming by and commenting. From audacity to humility…nice evolution.
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Bern ~ Walking in Stillness Says:
5 April 2010 at 6:52 pm.
ï‚• What has been your path to yourself? Walking towards a destination such as in a pilgrimage has showed me that the end of the intention often brings one an empty feeling creating a condition of not knowing what to do next. The clue here then is feeling empty showing that feeling is something we long for. Therefore, if we feel fully the moment that is presented to our selves at all times, then life becomes perfect just the way it is. One can still have goals to feel out new situations within, but the final outcome doesn’t matter. One therefore comes to life by merging with and embracing all objects or energy that comes to our attention.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 4:59 am
Bern,
Thank you for your comments, very interesting. I’m not sure I’ve gotten to the empty feeling. I imagine it as free of fear and anxiety. That unfortunately colors a lot of my waking life. I do have some meditative moments. That’s where I let go and ask to be receptive to messages, direction, next steps. I like the idea of having goals without being attached to them, and of embracing objects and energy that come to our attention.
Best,
Linda
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nothingprofound Says:
6 April 2010 at 7:37 am.
Hi Linda! A pleasure to meet you here on Robin’s blog. “The true self is no one.” That’s one of my aphorisms, and I suppose it expresses what I would consider my essence.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Says:
6 April 2010 at 4:34 pm.
Thank you, nothingprofound, I’m so glad you came by. I’m not sure I “get” your aphorism – can you explain it a little more? Do you mean, we’re nothing, and so we’re everything? I went to your blog and really enjoyed your current poem. -Linda
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nothingprofound Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Linda-sometimes I don’t get my aphorisms either. But I think what I’m trying to say is this: The error we make is believing that we have a self, a self that can be improved or realized, that can fail or succeed in the world. Once we dispense with this sense of self, we can cast aside all our anxieties about being, and just be.
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 7th, 2010 at 5:52 am
Very cool. That makes a lot more sense. Because my anxiety stems from my ego, which thinks it’s in control of my life. Ha! Letting go of anxiety means letting go of ego, means trusting the universe (or my true self, or my essence, or whatever it is we’re talking about here). I like it. Thanks for the clarification.
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Dorothy Stahlnecker Says:
7 April 2010 at 4:17 am.
Once again, birds of a feather, often flock together, and Robin and Linda, it’s clear that you both have so much to offer us as readers so that we may shed our inhibitions and seek the path to understanding ourselves, thus finding a path to happiness.which so many seek sometimes all their lives. I was smiling this morning as I read this post and realized all the help we give each other as we share our own journeys often giving strength to our friends while we find what we look for.
So now after reading your wise words, I’m heading over to your site to learn more…and thanks Robin for hosting yet another brave and astute blogger.
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 7th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Dorothy,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have so enjoyed my conversations here with Robin’s amazing community, I feel very lucky to be a part of it. It is really terrific to have friends and support. I’ve been so excited to find so many people on the seeking path here in the blogosphere. so glad to make your acquaintance, too, Dorthy.
Best,
Linda
[Reply]
Insanely Serene Takes the 7-Links Challenge « Insanely Serene Says:
26 July 2010 at 11:05 pm.
[...] What is Your Essence [...]
Insanely Serene Takes the 7-Links Challenge | Insanely Serene Says:
23 October 2011 at 7:49 pm.
[...] What is Your Essence [...]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 29th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
John,
Thanks so much for your comments. It’s only when I’ve learned to love myself – and that has happened first by receiving unconditional love from others, including those who do not know me – that I can give love unconditionally to others. When I have enough for myself, I can give of my extra. I find I have a deep capacity for love that surprises me. The strangers I see on the street and in the grocery store, the children and teenagers struggling to become who they are meant to be, they inspire this pure love. But it takes work to connect with that essence as you describe it. How did you find your way to this essential human trait?
Linda
[Reply]
John - Zen-Moments Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I have always felt unconditional love and compassion. Maybe it is because I grew up with pain and alienation. I know what it is like to be deeply hurt, both physically and emotionally, and I do not want others to experience that pain.
Perhaps my sensitivity enabled my insight, and that insight empowered my sense of how interconnected we all are.
John
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Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
John, sounds like you are very connected to your emotions…were you always or did you go through a process on that? It connects to what we’re discussing on your blog about the educational system. I agree that it would be critical to work with kids on staying in touch with their emotions – that emotional health and emotional intelligence should be subjects taught and learned…but our society just isn’t there. In order for kids to learn that, adults have to model it, and for so many of us, we have to struggle hard to get back to a place of connection with our emotions and ourselves. If you have that, whether naturally or through hard work, you are blessed. Thanks for the ongoing conversation.
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John - Zen-Moments Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Hi Linda,
Yeah, I was always that way. If any process lead to my way of feeling, it was the process of growing up under unusual circumstances, coupled with a strong empathic persuasion.
Of course I could bury my head in the sand and be blind to it all, so in that sense, it requires ongoing discipline to maintain an open heart and mind. A mixed blessing for sure.
John
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Jenn Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 7:28 pm
hi Robin and Linda, It is so great to be here.
This is so beautiful and so much resonates with me here..
[I was not always willing to look at my fears.] I used to take ‘everything personally’.. I have gotten a lot better here.. and stopped imagining everything to be punishment or thinking that i am a horrible person every time I get a correction slip from spirit. that part is refreshing to have more wisdom on as I have grown on this journey.
I feel my path is similar in some of the ways shared above. I am so sensitive that it has to come gradually to me or I tend to take on guilt and shame easily. I find that self-revelations are also slow and steady and I always want to be emerging as my best self once I know better.
thank you so much for sharing!
The last few years I thought if my life had an essence it would be a pink oak leaf essence. In my spirit it sounds perfect. so I won’t argue.
I love the questions you closed with also, thank you, great for more pondering time.
blessings to both of you, Jenn
[Reply]
Linda Wolf (Insanely Serene) Reply:
April 2nd, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Jenn,
So good to see you here at Robin’s blog. Love your comments. Also love the idea of “pink oak essence,” it sounds so beautiful and so nature-oriented. Fits you well, having visited your pages now. I love finding others on this path of slow and steady growth. This is cute too, “a correction slip from spirit.” Remember, it’s a GENTLE correction – there is no such thing as a mistake as long as we learn from it. So glad we are connecting.
Best,
Linda
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