What We Focus On – We Become
Posted by Robin Easton
When you think of your hair, your face, your age, and so forth, do you think about the lines around your eyes, possibly gray hairs coming in, maybe baldness, or might you dwell on the supposed imperfections of your body; you feel that your feet are too large, breasts too small, stomach not flat enough, or nose too crooked? There are two things I focus on if I ever have thoughts that drag me from myself.
One: I immediately remember the people in the world who would give anything to have a set of legs, arms, eyes, ears, fingers, or a fully functioning movable body. There are people the world over who’ve lost one of more extremities, or their eyes, ears, or nose. Or in the case of young woman in some countries who have had their faces burned off by acid, they would give anything to have a fully formed face, ANY face. I think of these courageous souls, and I am DEEPLY grateful for all I have.
My beauty is not determined by how old I am, or how few lines I have, or whether I have no gray hair, or how much hair I have, or whether my nose is perfectly straight, or my eyes the right size, and so forth. My beauty is determined by how “I” see myself. No wait! That’s not quite right. My beauty is determined by whether or not I SEE myself. Period! If we can fully see ourselves, and appreciate the gifts we have, if we can love ourselves and be grateful for our amazing body and all it does for us–often under great abuse–then we become what we ALREADY are. Beautiful.
Two: We can sometimes be exceedingly self absorbed, which isn’t so bad if we’re aware of what we are focusing on. If we aren’t aware, we can sometimes lose touch with how much we have and end up focusing on what we think we don’t have: the perfect love relationship, the perfect job, the perfect body, face, hair, legs, partner, and so on. Instead of making mental lists of all the things we think we don’t have, wouldn’t it be better to focus on healthy eating and living, finding our passion, loving and helping others, and doing the things that make us forget ourselves and remember Life? Wouldn’t doing these things makes us feel more whole, alive, purposeful…and beautiful?
I wish for you a life so well lived that you forget yourself in the passionate experience of living, and remember who you are. Because who you are is beautiful.
Love,
Robin
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Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
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60 Comments so far...
Trish Scott Says:
21 June 2010 at 3:11 pm.
Well if my fairy godmother came along and asked me what age I want to be I’d think she was nuts. I want to be what I am – age and all. I like to color my hair purple and red and fuchsia! I wear it very short so I can choose color at will. My very favorite is a buzz cut with a leopard print but it’s too high maintenance 
. I also go gray from time to time for a refreshing change. When I’m 90 and someone is doing my hair for me – I think I will pamper myself that way – I’ll go with the leopard print. I am also going to be exceedingly self absorbed! ;D
I’m sorry you had a bad reaction! I think you would look wonderful in a leopard print! But the gray is good too.
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David Says:
21 June 2010 at 3:20 pm.
One thing I have noticed lately is because I am working out every day I feel better, younger and more attractive. And it has nothing to do with my appearance because that hasn’t changed. It’s just a feeling. But feelings are very important when it comes to appearance.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 8:54 am
My dear friend, I love this comment because it makes my heart SING to hear you are not only continuing to workout and walk with your sweetie, but that you are FEELING better. I read this and just grinned ear to ear!! YES!!!!! And good for you. You are sooooooo right about how being healthy and fit can make us feel more attractive, more energetic, more confident and so many other good things. THAT is one powerful insight, and an every more powerful thing to experience, as you are experiencing. YEAH!!!! YEAH!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! for you David. I encourage you to keep going. I am hugging you for making this huge step in your life. I’m just hugging you anyway. Robin
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21 June 2010 at 3:20 pm.
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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Says:
21 June 2010 at 3:35 pm.
Hi Robin, there are some great points here. I remember some years back, in the gym locker room. Some guy who had an amazing build was so upset because his calf muscles had not responded to the last years training the way he wanted them to. I told him about a very athletic friend of mine who had been in a accident that left him paralyzed. How my friend would give anything to be able to walk on legs of any size or shape. Needless to say, the guy in the locker room got a quick attitude adjustment.
Comparing ourselves to ideals, or idealized illusions about how we once were, is not the least bit productive. I admit that it’s strange to watch my hair turn gray, but I’m not going to attach that to some negative assumption about who I am or where I am headed. Besides, at almost 59, I’m happy just to have a full head of hair and it can turn snow white for all I care.
My life has been, and continues to be, an amazing journey of discovery. I choose to be grateful for each day and the wonder that it brings.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:05 am
Dear Jonathan, I HAVE to tell you that ever since you told me (months ago) about your friend who was paralyzed, I have NEVER forgotten that story. In fact, I have remembered it and drawn it on MANY time. I bet you never knew it would have such an impact on another person, but it did on me. I never met your friend, but oddly have felt very connected to him, and I have thought of him and my heart fills with compassion and gratitude for what both he and you taught me through his experience.
It’s amazing the things we remember and draw on for courage, perspective, and solid grounding. And so, through you, your friend has changed my life in ways he doesn’t even know. I can hardly write this with out getting tears in my eyes. I know this; I will not forget him and what I am learning from him about perspective. I don’t have to have met him to learn from him.
Also Jonathan, you have been and continue to be a huge inspiration to me, as I move into midlife. I know many see midlife as 35 or 40, but then I have seen myself living to 100+ so I am only just now midlife. So you bring out the best in me in terms of seeing this time of my life positively. Your wife does as well, she just doesn’t know it. She is remarkable and solid, gorgeous, radiant and well grounded. I strongly resonate with that. My hugs and love to you both. Robin —I am very grateful!
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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
What a moving comment Robin. There is a saying that “midlife is the old age of youth and the youth of old age.” So in reality we are just entering our second childhood. That’s the way I’m choosing to see it at least.
I almost can’t bring myself to tell you this after all that you wrote, but my friend who was paralyzed in the hang gliding accident died about 6 months ago. The repair that they did on his Aorta (20 years ago) failed and he was gone in minutes. Nice to know that his legacy lives on.
My wife (Pattie) really appreciates all your kind words, your are such an extraordinary friend. Thank you for all that you give.
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Sandra Hendricks Says:
21 June 2010 at 4:01 pm.
Hi Robin,
I thoroughly enjoyed your video, the theme was exceptional but the essence of you, now that made it extraordinary! You are beautiful, and your enthusiasm brought a smile to my face and tears of joyfulness to my eyes. The gray hair I am receiving is a portion of me, that is growing with the rest of me… Thank you for sharing the best parts of yourself with us Robin.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:19 am
Dear Sandra. So good to see you here!! Thank you SO much for your highly encouraging and kind words. I am so heartened by your openness. You just being YOU reflects generously back to me an aspect of myself, which just thrills me soooooooo much. I am very excited to share with someone who is so alive, someone who smiles and has tears in their eyes all at the same time. THAT is being wonderfully alive. I relate! Thank you for taking the time to share your beautiful heart here. I am very honored. I went to your site and it is exceptional! I added it to my RSS feed. Thank YOU, Sandra. Big Hugs, Robin
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BK Says:
21 June 2010 at 4:15 pm.
There couldn’t be more truth in the simple statement, “What We Focus On – We Become.” Coincidentally, I was thinking about beauty just the day before while I was riding on a bus. I asked myself, “Is beauty only skin deep?” And I got the answer back immediately and clearly. No beauty is not skin deep, it is the character we have … which will last long after even when we age. You put it in a wonderful way, “It is whether we see ourselves or not.” We should always learn to be grateful and appreciate who and what we are.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Dear BK, what a soothing and insightful comment. Soothing because the gentle and yet profound truth of your words, makes everything in me just FEEL “right”. As if your words washed over me like gentle calming waters. Yes, I am really agree that is is our character which makes us beautiful. I have seen little kids and some adults who may be messy, and/or not what our media oriented society would classify as aesthetically beautiful, but BECAUSE these individuals felt SO happy inside, SO at peace with themselves, and SO in love with Life, they exuded intense charismatic beauty. In fact they were oblivious to anything else but beauty, true inner vitality and confidence about themselves and life. BTW, your words here are sooooo beautifully expressed, very eloquent. I am touched. Hugs, Robin
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Nick Grimshawe Says:
21 June 2010 at 4:20 pm.
I go to the gym three times a week and on the treadmill you need to put in your age…part of the time I can’t remember exactly how old I am…then when I punch it in…it doesn’t seem real. I feel young and alive…and really beyond that I don’t care. Age is a state of mind.
Your video was lots of fun.
Nick
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Dear Nick!! Hi, it has been so good to hear from you and get your newsletter as well. This is a remarkable comment, no wait, YOU are remarkable. The gym 3 times a week. THAT is WONDERFUL. Your comment reaffirms what David said above, that when we feel healthy we feel GOOD, and that includes how we feel about our age and looks. We just FEEL GOOD period!! I too forget my age, Nick. I don’t really car, and so your words are wonderful for me to hear. Because as long as I FEEL good and am doing the things I love…as you say….”beyond that I don’t care.” It REALLY is true that age is a state of mind. YES!! It’s another of those social conditionings that we can CHOOSE to take on…or NOT! I choose to NOT! Also Nick, I am SO happy (grinning) that you saw the “fun” or humor in my video. LOL!!! YES!!! Hugging you and thanking you so much, Robin
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Steven Aitchison Says:
21 June 2010 at 9:37 pm.
Hi Robin
I think we are all grateful for what we have however we sometimes forget how great it is to have all our faculties about us.
Are you 56 years old with grey hair or 56 years old with a beautiful soul? – you are both however you have chosen to focus your thoughts on the beautiful soul and that, more than grey hair, shines through in abundance.
Great video.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:51 am
My dear Steven friend!! An honor to have you here knowing how busy you are! Yes, I too think we can easily forget how great it is to have all our faculties.
I once had a counselor friend who said that he sent his clients to an assisted living home to visit people who were paralyzed, blind, deaf, mute and so on. It became part of his practice for helping people to heal. And it WORKED. He said people came back with a TOTALLY different perspective and a much clearer state of mind, clearer in that they wanted to do something meaningful with their lives, and if not totally clear they were at least more appreciative of what they did have.
He also made it an assignment to send young troubled teens and young adults to prisons to see the living conditions so that they could choose a better path BEFORE it was too late, before they ended up in prison themselves. It also had an affect on these people. Of course it didn’t work for everyone but it sure made a big difference in many of his clients lives.
Also, yes, I am 56 with a beautiful soul, and all my extremities, eyes, ears, etc. intact, and beyond that I am as beautiful as I believe myself to be. And Thank YOU so much for seeing my soul. I am deeply grateful. Even though you are much younger than me I see the stunning courageous soul that has brought himself so far along the path of life, to live his most dynamic dreams. And you have come this far often solely on your own, by believing in yourself, even when others did not believe in you. That is amazing. Hugs my friend. Robin
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marcel lemieux Says:
21 June 2010 at 9:44 pm.
Fun/joyful video..and its all you that,s cool…i,m a bit gray and white well getting whiter now..got to use blue shampoo too..take out that yellowish..getting use to it..i,m very happy to where i,m at and my life discoveries…i meet peoples my age, ask them if they got passion and they go huh!..you know you got good points in this blog, one you have not mention is the way the crowd or society sort of puts you aside since you don,t fit in anymore..gee..i remember in my voluntary work bringing older folks to do their groceries or going to the bank and they were having a hell of a hard time with getting older..the biggest complaint was loneliness, lack of funds, of friends, husband or wife gone too soon…etc…of course there,the odd uncle or ant just grooving in all places….well there having fun…when i will be very old, if i,m in a old folks home, i want to listen to Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Classical, New age music, Lounge music, have fun with who is there and have a voice for poetry, philosophy, arts, take walks, my they will have fun trying to stop me..hihi..but right now here in Quebec..old folks home are dying homes most of the time..not very cool or interesting and the only way around that is if you have money or can survive in your own place the longest possible way…getting or being old is a rich experience as growing up was..just another brick in the wall..haha..i,m sure glad that some have passion, they are a joy to meet and talk to…now you take care and grow old wisely my friend..if you can, stay in the country,,seeing nature everyday, a miracle everyday keep,s one young…oh! by the way, you are beautiful, i am beautiful, all are beautiful if one know,s where to look….(sitting at the dock of the bay watching the time flow away) to bad i can,t whistlewrite….peace..Marcel
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:47 am
Dearest Marcel, First off, I have to say this because you will laugh. I read your comment to my husband the other night as it is so powerful, and he said, “If I ever have to live in an old folks home….Well, whatever ‘old folks’ home Marcel is living in I am going to find him and THAT home, and I’m going to live there too!!” LOL!
ME TOO!! Marcel. Wherever you are, I will hunt you down and we can crank up the Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Classical, New age music, Lounge music, and kick up our feet and dance to the rhythm of great vitality. I laughed my face off over these words of yours. I LOVE it and YOU!! Oh Marcel, I just can’t see you in a home like that. I see you living FULLY right up to your last breath!! It’s just WHO you are. You are vitality personified. And yes, your will be kicking butt right to the very end. You will be filling your own and other people’s lives with laughter, beauty, wisdom and joy, Marcel.
Oh my dear friend, you are a rare bird. I think a great soaring eagle with a touch of humorous and trickster crow in you. You bring Life wherever you go. I’ve often thought it would be cool to have a little community of like minded souls, a community that WE own and run and where we help each other and respect the elders before us and the young who come after. A community where we bring compassion, caring, respect, dancing and Pink Floyd back into our lives (LOL!), a community where we share dreams, visions, organic gardening, nature, art, photography, pottery, music, and healing, a community that fosters AND INSTILLS Life right up to the last breath!!! Anything less is not Life; it is a simply waiting for death. I will NEVER wait for death, because for me there is ONLY Life.
Dearest Marcel, you are a kindred soul and your words here brought big tears to my eyes and laughter from my heart. I am deeply grateful that you are in the world, and even more grateful that you are in my life. Your words below say it all for me. Bless you and huge hugs my friend, Robin
“getting or being old is a rich experience as growing up was..just another brick in the wall..haha..i,m sure glad that some have passion, they are a joy to meet and talk to…now you take care and grow old wisely my friend..if you can, stay in the country,,seeing nature everyday, a miracle everyday keep,s one young…oh! by the way, you are beautiful, i am beautiful, all are beautiful if one know,s where to look”
Marcel, thank you a thousand times over. Love, Robin
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Wilma Ham Says:
21 June 2010 at 10:51 pm.
Love makes me beautiful, not make-up. I have a bright colored jacket I love and I love to wear it. The funny thing is people always comment on how good the jacket looks. Always. but it is not me or the jacket, it is the love that shines through and they connect with. Some old people look so beautiful and alive, some young people look so dead.
You look beautiful and alive. xox Wilma
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Dearest Wilma, Oh my god! YES!! You are beautiful off the charts. There are some people in the world who are sooooooooooooooooo beautiful that we hardly see what they look like, I mean their physical features, because we are blinded by their shinning beauty, their radiance and charisma and “exudiant” LOVE (I made up the word”exudiant”) LOVE. They shine so brightly that we only see their luminous soul. You are one of those people.
And yes, as Nick Grimshawe said above, “Age is a state of mind” I too have seen small children who looked so old, that I wanted to cry. I have seen 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, year olds that looked already dead. And I have seen 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, year olds that looked AGELESS. The more I think about what you and Nick are saying the more I FEEL the truth of it. It is something I have always felt, but am just more aware of it today. Wilma you are a shinning soul, who lives from your soul, and touches lives from your soul, and you are a magnificent soul to behold. So so alive, no matter WHAT you are feeling. It’s just that you ARE feeling…abundantly and openly and wondrously. I am so grateful for you. Love, Robin.
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mike foster Says:
21 June 2010 at 11:28 pm.
This video says it all about what you so entertainingly discuss, robin…peace:
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Dearest Mike!!! YOU….yes YOU know soooo well how to live with vitality and zest!! My word man, that is what your whole purpose to life is. At least that is what I get from you. You are spontaneous, eager to laugh, play, love, and to extract the full richness of Life from everyday. You ARE abundance, which is the natural state of Life. Thank you for appreciating and for seeing and for being who you CHOOSE to be. I grateful, Mike. Hugs my friend. Robin
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nothingprofound Says:
22 June 2010 at 6:49 am.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: “Self-consciousness is hell.” Whether you’re eight or eighty, this is the day the Lord has given you. Enjoy it.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:06 am
My dear Profound friend!! You know I LOVE this comment. I am grinning my face off and feel soooooo happy from reading it. Yes, the more I lose self-consciousness the more aware of Life I become. And my word, yes, this IS the day…..TODAY, right NOW, this MOMENT! Carpe diem – “seize the day”. Bless you beautiful soul. Hugs, Robin
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rob white Says:
22 June 2010 at 8:05 am.
Wow Robin, I really enjoyed this. What a great video and a great cosmic lesson. For a period in my late 30′s I spent so much time and energy being ‘not bald’ that it became a part of my identity. I had a few cosmic lessons during that time until I was able to recognize the insanity of it. One great lesson was when a pretty young gal came up to me and said, “I love bald men.” It dawned on me that there are plenty of people who love baldness (or gray hair or whatever the case may be!) People will always be enamored with authenticity and that is the most important thing. Your authenticity certainly shines through in this video!
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:27 am
Dear Rob, Your honesty about the being “not bald” time of your life touched me and made me chuckle. Prior to doing this video which was originally 15 minutes long I talked with both men and women of different ages. One of the things the women said was that they did NOT mind bald men at all, any stage of baldness, and some said they found it sexy. But the men I talked to said gray hair on women didn’t bother them and some said they didn’t notice things like that, and some said they found gray hair on women sexy. BUT the women tended to fear their gray hair and the men tended to fear their baldness.
We are indeed funny creatures. But I REALLY liked this line of yours and resonate highly with it: “People will always be enamored with authenticity and that is the most important thing.”
I think you hit on a key thing here, Rob. People ARE enamored with authenticity, more than anything else. Some may not be used to it or even know how to be it themselves, but when presented with it, that authenticity is a powerful force that cuts through all else and makes us FEEL in a way that we cannot avoid, which is good for us. We get to experience something real and unforgettable because it’s larger than life, larger than our silly social conditioning, larger than our defenses, and so we don’t forget it. We are intrigued by it, drawn to it, and want to connect with it. That authenticity is Life itself, which we are drawn to. Thank you, Rob, for sharing here. Your wisdom is much appreciated. Loved the interview of you the other day. Wonderful to experience you solid grounded wisdom. Hugs, Robin
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Mark Says:
22 June 2010 at 1:39 pm.
One of the greatest lessons in life is to know that what we think about we create. The other important thing to remember is we are not our body. While our body changes, while our hair grays or falls out we do not change, we are still the same unless we allow ourselves to believe we are what we view in the mirror. Enjoyed your video, very wise.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Dear Mark, thank you for visiting me. I am honored. Your site is just stunning!! I am deeply moved by the title “The Naked Soul” http://tobeme.wordpress.com/ And the content is just as lovely as the title. Naked in Eden is very much about my naked soul.
Also, your words here are so fundamentally true for me, and you have expressed them beautifully. We are timeless, just as all is timeless. We simply ARE. And what we focus on we create more of. We are creation itself. How magical and amazing. It seems simple because….it is simple. Thank you for taking the time to share here Mark. I am grateful and it is a joy to meet you. I added your site to my RSS feed and enjoyed reading your thoughts on your blog. Beautiful!!! Hugs, Robin
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timethief Says:
22 June 2010 at 1:59 pm.
I just found this blog entry I had missed previously and I laughed and laughed. We are of an age Robin and I tried coloring my hair when I developed a flower of gray hair over my right eye. That didn’t last for long simply because I felt like a fraud. I stopped coloring my hair and I like it just as it is because it’s authentic. Just a few weeks ago I had a photo taken and sent it to an art student who made me an avatar from the photo. It’s a good likeness and like it bigtime! So yes that gray haired gal withe the big smile is me.
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Dearest TT, I am laughing my face off. YES YES YES!!! You just ROCK! LOL! I am sooooo glad that you left this comment. It made me feel SO close to you. I felt sooooooooo happy that you just “laughed and laughed”. I wish I had been there with you while you were watching this.
I love the FLOWER of gray over your right eye. That is so wild because it is also my right temple/eye area that is really going to have a wonderful skunk like streak of white. LOL!!!
And yes, you hit on something here that I had to take out of the film due to length. I decided that even if I wasn’t allergic to the natural organic plant dyes, that I STILL do not want to do it, because it just felt so NOT me, not authentic for me. I felt drained trying to keep up an appearance that is not who I really am. When I let the gray grow in, it was like this whole transformation took place and I literally felt more empowered! I kid you not; it was instant. I felt like I had finally claimed this new dynamic woman!!! The solid grounded, no nonsense woman, and oddly have felt more passionate and alive and powerful. More rock solid. It’s a good feeling.
Also, when I saw your new avatar, I fell in LOVE with it. I was sooooo drawn to the vitality of it. I immediately, instinctively KNEW that was YOU!! So you have just made my day by confirming something that I immediately sensed. WOW!! THAT is waaaay COOL!! I just love you dear friend. Rob
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Evita Says:
22 June 2010 at 2:28 pm.
Hi Robin!
First off, it was SOOO good to see you on this video (I missed you like that). It was as if you were right there in front of me, talking to me directly, or perhaps even sitting across from me in a shared room…. I can’t wait to one day in the physical to hug you.
I noticed right away that you cut your hair – and it still looks awesome – because no matter the length or color – it does not change who YOU are.
… I cannot believe you are 56… (the number truly does not matter) but my God do you look phenomenal!
The title is awesome and so true! And your advice priceless.
While I have to admit, I am loving my youthful body and appearance, I know ultimately it is not who I am. Everything changes and this is just a body, that is my vehicle in this lifetime. So I will float with it.
Another important thing to me, is to use as few chemicals as possible in all areas of my life. I have once dyed my hair with one of those from the drug store box colors in high school and that was it. I had to try it once – and never again – and I know I will never dye my hair again. I just choose not to put the chemicals on my head and I love the color I chose for this physical experience.
And your experience with the natural dye, was eye-opening, as who would have thought? But ultimately there has to be something in there, even the way the plant parts are mixed or processed that your body found foreign to it and rejected it.
So, let us lose ourselves in our passions, love and just live
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Dear Evita, What a lovely comment!! I am deeply touched when you say it was as if I was sitting right there with you talking with you. That means a lot to me. I stopped using a “script” for videos because I felt awkward and like I WASN’T talking to you and my other friends. And I decided one day to just be MYSELF. I almost called this post “Coming Back to Me” but I forgot that I was going to title it that until after it was up. I was going to call it that because I am making a LOT of life changes, taking back more of myself and asking what is it that makes me feel the most ME. So your words really touched me profoundly. I am grateful that you are able to embrace me on this level, because you, yourself, live there as well.
I am at a stage in my soul development where I truly want to connect with people on the deepest more authentic level possible. For me, anything less doesn’t exist. I don’t even think I see anything other than this deep level anymore. I see it all around me, in me and in others, everywhere I go. It’s what Life IS. And when I connect with people on this level they rise up, as if starved for nourishing food and also want to connect in an authentic way. I think the world is more ready for it than ever, ready to be who we really are. And even those who might rebuff me, I am no longer daunted or frightened like I might once have been, I am simply compassionate, patient and understanding of their fear or need for privacy.
I think you are right about the dye. It is not just our bodies that are aware, it is our whole BEING, our soul and spirit. And if dying my hair goes against what my “BEING” wants, what my soul and spirit want, then I will of course have a reaction. Thank you for mentioning that here, as it is something I have often thought about and always known.
You are a passionate, loving and vitally alive soul. Thank you for sharing that with me. You mean much. Love, Robin .
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Lisa Marie Says:
23 June 2010 at 7:39 am.
Hello Robin,
I love your video! It is so nice to see the twinkle in your eyes which can be felt in your writing.
It’s a great thing to re-focus when superficial stuff starts to take up space in your mind.
Someone told me that when she was 40, she looked longingly at photos of herself in her 20′s and wished she could still be as beautiful.
When she turned 50, she realized that the photos of herself at 40 looked pretty damn good. At that moment she realized that she could have been celebrating her 40 year old self when she WAS 40…instead of mourning over the aging process. So she said at 50 she’s grateful for the beauty that 50 years have given her!
love, Lisa
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Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Dear sweet Lisa Marie, Oooooh I love this phrase of yours, it is POWERFUL: “It’s a great thing to re-focus when superficial stuff starts to take up space in your mind.”
YES! As I read that it made me realize how much space superficiality can take up IF we let it. It is always SO cathartic when we have an experience that brings us to our knees, so speak, and we are reminded of what is really meaningful in life, or who we REALLY are, or how blessed we are and so on. Our focus is instantly shifted and we’re left humbled and filled with gratitude. All the shallow “fluff” and “chatter” falls away, and once again we see clearly. We FEEL “real”, honest, genuine. I LOVE that feeling.
I also LOVE the story of your friend who looked back into her 20s when she was 40 “wishing”…. And then when she saw herself at 40 from her 50 year old eyes and realized how good she actually DID look, that she became grateful for her 50 year old beauty…. That is one of the most powerful age-related stories I’ve heard in awhile. I think it would make a fabulous blog post. But I’ve a feeling you don’t have a blog. So I am REALLY happy that you shared that here. It gives us all perspective very quickly.
Dear Lisa Marie, I am so grateful for your presence here. I really am. You add such a genuine and beautifully heartfelt wisdom to these pages. I always go away feeling loved, really loved. I appreciate that more than I can express. Although we’ve not met and may never meet, I feel very connected. Thank you for that. Love, Robin
[Reply]
Tess The Bold Life Says:
23 June 2010 at 7:39 am.
Robin,
Love the video and you had me LOL at 3 minutes 23 seconds;) I love the chemicals in my hair and I also love who I am! I love the description of the two year old playing in the dirt passionate about life. You have a gift thanks for sharing it.
What I don’t like about aging is bone loss, arthritis and my vision deteriorating. I’ll be truly evolved when I can love this stuff as well but I’m far from it.
On another note my daughter was born without most of her right hand. She wouldn’t give anything for a normal hand. She says it wouldn’t be who she is! What a kid, eh?
So Robin I’ll be the one in line at the book signings with the blondish hair;) You are a true gem and I wish you were my next door neighbor. xo Tess
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Dear Tess. I’ve been thinking of you and Julie and a lot and wondering how it went, so wish I could have been there. But I know it will happen another time. I’ve no doubt at all.
I also LOVE your honesty about loving the chemicals in your hair and also who you are. I think there is a lot to be said for, no matter what we decide to do that we do it consciously, with conviction and that we love ourselves. There are SO many variables to ANY situation.
ALSO!! Your daughter sounds like a truly confident and amazing soul. WOW!! Yes, what a remarkable young woman. I would love to meet her sometime. But then I can clearly see where she gets it from. The more and more I get to know you and fall in love with you, Tess, the more I realize just HOW appropriate your blog title is for you. The Bold Life – http://theboldlife.com/ Bold is really a word that fits who you ARE, and I suspect have always been.
PS RE: book signings. I will look for a little blond bobbing head!!! ROFL!! And yes I too wish you were my next door neighbor. I can soooooooo relate to THAT!!! Hugs and love to you dear Tess!!!! Robin xoxox
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Plastic Mancunian Says:
23 June 2010 at 8:02 am.
Hi Robin,
I thought you were younger than that.
I am not much younger than you (47) and I look like a walking crow’s foot. Actually, that’s not quite true; I look about ten years younger than my age, so people tell me. I have a full head of wild, sentient blonde hair that it too busy irritating the hell out of me to turn grey or fall out. I also have a few lines and wrinkles but not that many.
That said, if I do end up bald or grey (or both) with a face like a sunburnt prune then I won’t care one jot. I have posted in the past about men who are so insecure or vain that they are swayed by adverts for products like “Just For Men”. These guys are told by the marketing gurus that they will get that high powered job and attract the most delicious women by removing their grey hair. What a load of old nonsense. They are playing on our fears.
Grow old gracefully I say – and I intend to do just that!
Everybody should do that too.
Spread the word …
:0)
Cheers
PM
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Heeeeeey Dear Mr. Plastic Man! It is soooooooo cool to see you here. I always smile the moment I see your name come up. Sometimes I even laugh out loud! (Not with you at you!! LOL!) Just kidding! Seriously, I laugh when I see your name because I immediately remember one or more of your hysterical posts, like the one on Australia and all the deadly things, or the one on all the guys with the big “face hair” or the one on your driving habits, ROFL!!!!, or or or…. See, you leave a lasting impression.
I would never have guessed that you were 47. I thought you were maybe late 20s. You look very young. I can easily see how people think you are ten years younger. You also have a fun playful nature which can make any of us seem ageless.
I think people who are constantly serious and can’t laugh at themselves or life — whether they are children or adults — seem old. Maybe like Nick Grimshawe said above, age is a state of mind. And you have always seemed very youthful to me. I was at your site a bit ago and marveled that you have such a remarkable gift in the way that you see the world. You are able to see humor and the lighter side of life in almost everything. My husband is like that too. And I have grown to be VERY grateful for it.
Some people don’t want to laugh and can even think it is a sacrilegious to laugh in a crisis or during tense times, but I have learned from him that it is essential for us to laugh during these times as well, if we want to stay young. YOU are very good at this. And you have a way of laughing at yourself while being brutally honest about your…hmmm?…shall we call them character flaws….LOLOL!!! I’ve see you do this many times…and I am always taken by how STUNNINGLY well you do it. Honest and yet humorous, a great combination. You REALLY have a gift. One I deeply admire.
Also you have the most magnificent long black tresses!! Hee hee, I know, I know that must have been a wig if I remember correctly. BUT you do have great blond hair.
We will start a new slogan! GOG!! Grow Old Gracefully!! Now see, YOU would write an hysterical post about GOG! When you do, give me a heads up! I want to read it.
Thank you for making me always laugh and look at life in the most delightful ways.
Hugs, Cheers and GOG!!!!
May the Great GOG rule!
Robin
[Reply]
Plastic Mancunian Reply:
July 1st, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Hi again Robin.
Yes – GOG Rules!!
But – talk about coincidence. My delightfully beautiful lady pointed out this week that I have some flecks of grey too. I am shocked – but at the same time weirdly excited – what a crazt reaction.
I’ve written a post about it if you fancy a bit of a laugh …
http://plasmanc.blogspot.com/2010/07/grow-old-disgracefully.html
But I SHALL Grow old gracefully – I shall not use weird chemicals or “Just For Men” – of that you can be certain…
Cheers
PM
[Reply]
Lauren Says:
23 June 2010 at 10:24 am.
My dear friend,
I look at you and listen, watching and soaking in your radiance, vacillating between tears and big smiles. You are magnificent, Robin. A tribute and example to us all – living with passion and oh so very beautiful.
I know friends in their 30′s who are “10′s”, going to the gym every day, couldn’t be “better looking” who are so tortured about looking good that they can’t relax into enjoying life. It is true, the quality of the life we live is where we choose to place our focus.
Thank you, dear dear Robin, for your realness and your passion for life.
Love you so much,
Lauren
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 9:08 am
Dearest Lauren, I am so touched that you vacillated between tears and smiles. To me that speaks of great vitality and passion and openness of spirit. And you are most definitely ALL those things dear Lauren. You continue to be a vibrant role model for me, with all your vitality and wide open heart. I LOVE that about you. One senses that they are immediately safe and will not only be welcomed but will not be judged. WOW!! That is so rare in the world, and soooo WHO you ARE.
When you mentioned your “10′s” friend I thought people I know who are in the same place/state of mine. And then I thought that yes, it REALLY is a state of mind. It really goes to show the importance of how we see ourselves. AND the importance of gaining valuable perspective so that we can see ourselves CLEARLY. I know that throughout these comments we keep coming back to the “state of mind” thing and yet here in your comment it is REALLY hittting me hard MUCH of our life quality is decided on our state of mind and what we focus on. Oh fascinating that we could look in the mirror and see someone who is really fat, when in fact we might be 5’9″ and weigh 98 pounds and be emaciated. Or look in the mirror and see someone REALLY old and only be 30 or 50, etc.
I know I’m going on here, but I’m just blown away by what you said about the “10′s” and how much of life we do miss if we don’t choose the right focus. Or, in turn how much of life we gain when we DO choose our right focus.
Dear Lauren, thank you for adding SOOOOOOOO much love, honesty and “realness” to my life. You do that in SPADES. You really do, and I am so grateful. I love you and am hugging you. Thank you for being YOU. Robin
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Ladygoodwood Says:
23 June 2010 at 2:43 pm.
What a wonderful positive affirmation to celebrate who we are.
Every morning, as part of my daily routine, I read the poem Desiderata. There is one line especially poignant.. “Accept gracefully the counsel of the years as each age has its own beauty”
In December 2009 I had a tumour removed from my uterus – benign.
In March 2010 I Had a lump removed from my breast – benign.
How many women in those hospitals would exchange places?
Today I am Funny, Feisty, Fifty and Fabulous! and above all grateful for all that I have rather than resentful at all that I haven’t!!
TimeThief recommended your blog, she said i would love it – she is right.
Smiles and blessings
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Dear Ladygoodwood, (what a delightful name! Your blog is beautiful. I was just at it and added it to my RSS feed. Lots to check out there that will be useful and soothing.
I love Desiderata. I can’t read it without feeling calmer, more me, more right and that life is all possible…that life is profoundly GOOD! I think that’s a wonderful idea to read it each morning
(or before bed maybe). I am going to find a copy and print it out. I LOVE the line about age that you shared here. It is something that really hit me through this whole “hair” experience. I suddenly saw that I have beauty now that I did NOT have at 20, 30, 40, 50, etc. And I can REALLY feel that inside me now. And THAT is what made dying my hair difficult; I felt I was losing touch with the beauty that I am NOW. I wanted to SEE that new beauty, not cling to something that I was no longer. And I don’t mean that I’m no longer beautiful, but the type of beauty that I was then was not as FULL as the type of beauty that I am NOW. When I realized this I felt totally liberated and in my power, confident, lovely, and totally myself. Truly myself.
I am blessing you for sharing your “tumor” stories, as they lend us SO much perspective. Yes, I have friends who lost breasts, or a uterus, or other body part to cancer, diabetes, etc. And they have expressed exactly what you share here. We can lose perspective so easily and must remember, daily, how blessed we are. In this way we can keep a wholesome focus and truly live rewarding lives.
I could tell from your blog that you are ALL the things you say here. I sensed that right away. It made me feel soooooooo happy inside. It made me feel kindred. Thank you for all your beautiful wisdom and kind words. You are wonderfully empowered woman changing the world….just by being YOU. Isn’t that so COOL?!! Hugs, Robin
[Reply]
Julie Says:
23 June 2010 at 4:36 pm.
Robin, it’s great to see you, again! Your videos are always so enjoyable. Congratulations on your new haircut. It looks as lovely as you, suiting you beautifully.
Your friends’ remarks are family: “competing” “looking our best” Competing for what? And who determines ‘best’? Society seems to thrive on this kind of thinking, but it’s not for me. Hair color has never touched my hair. And I decided that when I found my first gray hair—at 16! Besides being forever locked into a routine, I couldn’t see myself at 80 trying to get OFF the coloring regimen. And who would ever think I’d be telling the truth if I presented myself as an 80-year-old dark brunette? Hm. True, there were times it was an exercise in courage, but I refused to become conditioned to believe aging is something to be ashamed of or avoided (especially since I can’t! 
Instead, I just try to express all the vitality I feel inside, and THAT is showing the real me, the me that matters most.
It’s going to be fun to see how your hair comes in. As I told someone long ago, your hair will be “dying” itself, according to its own plan. Hugs and happy love, ~Julie
[Reply]
Julie Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Er, typos… I meant your friends’ remarks are familiar, as in heard applied to many topics. And your hair won’t be dying; it’ll be dyeing itself. LOL, I didn’t mean for you to have to decipher a code!
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Dear Julie, I will reply to your other comment tomorrow or next day, but I am laughing so hard because I NEVER noticed your typos. See? I just simply TOTALLY intuit whatever you are saying and totally skip over any typos. It you hadn’t pointed them out I would never have noticed. LOLOL!!! I LOVE both comments and YOU!! And ending my day with such a GREAT belly laugh!! You would love hearing me! hugging you, you beautiful earthy goddess!! R
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 9:43 am
Did you notice I said, “It you hadn’t pointed them….” Instead of “IF”. ROFL!!!
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 9:42 am
Dearest Julie, I am still laughing my face off again this morning over your comment about your typos. LOLOLOL!!! And I realize this AM that they came right at my favorite line, which made me laugh even harder, that coupled with the fact that I NEVER noticed them. Anyway I LOVE this line. For me it sums it up and gets right to the heart of what I was trying to express.:
“Your friends’ remarks are family (familiar): “competing†“looking our best†Competing for what? And who determines ‘best’?”
Yes!! Yes!! Only I will determine what is “best” for me. It has to be that way, because only I know. I do not judge what another person does, I rarely even notice, BUT I do know that I have to find out and live what is MY best, not something determined by this vague entity called “Media”.
And you are SO RIGHT!!! This whole “competing” thing that is CONSTANTLY throw at us, I am just not buying it either. I am competing with NO ONE. Contrary to what the media, school and society teaches us, we are NOT in competition. We are ALREADY whole, complete and perfect. We need only rediscover or remember or see who we ALREADY ARE. We are not “in relation TO” other people. We are “in relation WITH” others. There is a big difference, and all too often, in fact most of our lives we are taught that we are “in relation to”.
Yes, dear one, there can often be an element of great courage when we let go and start to drift easily down the river with the gentle current as opposed to desperately trying to “race” up stream, against the current, with the pack. And yet, as you know SO WELL, in letting go is found great peace. I so treasure who you are, and am thanking all the heavens for you being in my life. We are two beautiful souls connected. And what a gift it is. Love, Robin
[Reply]
Nea | Self Improvement Says:
23 June 2010 at 5:25 pm.
Robin your words always manage to touch my heart. I love what you said about determining beauty. It’s hard to miss when we’re focused on who we truly are instead of the superficial definitions that are often used to define beauty.
Much love to you my dear friend.
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Dearest Nea, such a joy to see you here!! Love this comment!!! Yes, I too have found that if we can let go of the “superficial definitions” it is then that we REALLY begin to explore who we are, explore and BECOME our full potential. Often it can mean, as Julie said above, having some courage. Some people are very frightened at the thought of letting go of the superficial and discovering a deeper more meaningful SELF, and set of values….and to become comfortable with those values and that seemingly new self. I think letting go of the superficial means not only letting go of it on an aesthetic level (our physical beauty), but on a deep soul, emotional level as well. It is all connected, which I find fascinating. Thank you dear beautiful Nea for sharing you wisdom here. You are truly beautiful inside and out. Many hugs and tons of love to you too, Robin
[Reply]
ZuzannaM Says:
23 June 2010 at 10:09 pm.
Dear Robin,
Thank you for the great post!
What is it that we want to look younger?
Why we want to color the hair to change our appearance
that does mean will the hair color change the way we live
Is the wrinkle going to change the fact what is most important to you
Nobody will care for one single gray hair, if you have a passion
in what you are doing. Life is not to meant to be a slave to chemicals
that are in hair dies or any other beauty products. Naturally we all going to age,
but nothing will replace the wisdom we gain over the life span.
So be happy and go on with your life, do what is most important to you
Stop worrying about a single graying hair or a little line on your face.
Live your life to the fullest knowing that the most important things
are not about beauty pageant. Make sure that you live with passion
for things you like to do…Thank you dear Robin for the wonderful video.
Thank you for all you do for the community, and for your friends,
just know that I love you dear Robin.
Sincerely,
Zuzanna
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 10:30 am
My dear sweet friend!! You always share right from you pure heart, and it is so lovely. I LOVE these lines; they are very uplifting and encouraging to us all: “…do what is most important to you
Stop worrying about a single graying hair or a little line on your face. Live your life to the fullest knowing that the most important things are not about beauty pageant.” I love that really hits home when you compare it to a “beauty pageant.” Oh yes!! I have read stories of young woman who committed suicide when they did not win the beauty pageant, because they felt if they did not win, if they were not the most beautiful woman, the most perfect woman on stage, that they had no life left to live. I think our culture can put young women and possibly young men under great strain when they try to meet some nebulous and seemingly very real media-determined standard of beauty, an impossible standard of beauty.
Yes, we must find that passions in our lives, the things we simply LOVE doing, we must be grateful for those who love us, and for our eyes, ears, legs and arms and all the other 1000s of things we have each day that can fill our lives with great joy and LASTING beauty. A beauty that time can never ever take from us. Beauty, like Love, just IS. Thank you for all you have shared here and on YouTube and Stumble Upon in regard to this topic. You are very wise and a great lady who exudes endless beauty and love. I love you very much, Robin
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Stephen - Rat Race Trap Says:
24 June 2010 at 5:19 pm.
Hello Robin, this was a wonderful article! I’m going to tweet it. I don’t worry too much about the outward physical signs of aging, it’s the aging brain that makes me depressed 
Maybe you should do an article on that
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Dear Stephen, It is so good to see you here my friend. You always look very youthful to me. I think YOU would be the one to do the best article on the “aging brain”, at least in terms of supplements and exercises and nutrition. You know far more than I do about what nourishes the brain.
However, after I read your comment I wrote a whole page response to your comment here and then cut it out and saved it for a future post. Which I will link to your site when I post it. Not sure when, but will do it. You inspired me by your question and I thought, “What awakens my brain?” Then I proceed to list for you the things that DO “spark” my brain. And the list went on and on. I was amazed. So I will use it as post, THANK YOU SO MUCH for inspiring me to respond in a way that I might never have thought to. It’s a topic that I don’t really think about, but rather, just live.
I’d also say here that your brain has always struck me a pretty sharp. Your writing is great and I’ve always sensed you have an exceptionally keen mind. Hugs to you dear friend. Robin
[Reply]
Hilary Says:
25 June 2010 at 11:27 pm.
Hi Robin .. your bad hair day – thanks for putting it into perspective! I agree grow old gracefully .. on the other hand if you’ve got Trish’s live life to the full attitude with multicoloured hair .. go for it. My mother always said she’d be wearing a purple hat, looking disreputable as she aged .. and no worries, she was enjoying life .. still does in her mind fortunately.
I have just let life occur – we can’t turn the clock back .. and like you I count my blessings .. if gray hair is all I worry about .. but I don’t.
There’s so many other things that enlighten us .. can cheer us .. open our hearts to other arenas .. and I love your parting words on the video .. become engrossed in your passion, become that passion and live it every day ..
Childhood absorption .. those were the days .. happy weekend .. Hilary
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 26th, 2010 at 11:39 am
Dearest Hilary, I just love your openness. Yes I too like Trish’s total sense of play. She is a lot like you in that you both are highly unique individuals, and are this way fearlessly. I love that about you both. I laughed out loud over what your mother said, the purple hat and looking disrespectful. Especially the disrespectful thing!! I LOVE THAT!!! Wonderful!!! Yes!
You are an excellent example of living fully, you take great joy in the history you share with us all. That is self evident in the way that you write it. It is WHY you are the first person who has been able to teach me history. LOL!! It is the WAY you teach it and the fact that your passion shines through it. You also are amazing in that most of your focus right now is on caring for your mother, and yet you do it with great commitment and you bring as much dignity and joy to the whole experience as you can. That is a priceless gift to both your mother and yourself, because it can’t always be easy for you or her.
It’s odd, Hilary, but when you said there are so many other things that “enlighten us, cheer us and open our hearts”, it hit me that I now have more vitality, interest, joys, dreams, and goals than I ever did in my life, way more than when I was 20, 30, or 40. I had not seen that until right now. That is very exciting. And I have noticed with you that although your time right now is committed to your Mom, you still have amazing dreams and look to the future and the things you will do and experience. THAT takes a great soul to do that. Much love to you my courageous and deeply caring friend. I always learn from you. Love, Robin
[Reply]
Dorothy Stahlnecker Says:
26 June 2010 at 12:44 pm.
Robin, I lost my old email address in a server issue and I’m not sure I’ll recover it because I’m making some changes…thus I gave you my work email if you need to respond to me. Having said that I’m reading What Happy People Feel by Dan Baker and it’s the best, there is a lot of your thoughts in his thinking regarding fear and fears we all harbour…hope all is well great post..thinking of about you.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
[Reply]
Dorothy Stahlnecker Says:
26 June 2010 at 2:22 pm.
Robin not sure you got my last comment I don’t see it here thus again reading What Happy People know by Dan Baker, reminded me of you. My grammology email is gone for now so if you want to contact me note the different email I signed in with. Great post as usual.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
[Reply]
Jenn Says:
13 June 2011 at 1:33 pm.
thank you sweet Robin for this lovely video … I was able to insert some other things in there that you shared about.. like worrying about other people liking me or approving of me, and on and on.. and I’m only 30 but If I don’t stop this needless suffering.. I know it’ll age me and continue to stop the joy flow! Thank you for helping me laugh with you.. and cry.. and yes I was teary by the end.. you are so so right! Thank you for being like a wise aunt in my life.. hugs… Jenn
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Dear Deee-lightful Trish, you always make me smile with you strong sense of vitality, playfulness and wit!! I love it. I joyously laughed out loud over the fun and creativity you have with your hair. I also HOOTED over you comment about being exceedingly self-absorbed! I think there are times that self-absorption is a WONDERFUL thing. Especially the way you would do it. It would magical, spontaneous, intuitive and full of LIFE!! Just make sure I’m there doing the self-absorbed thing WITH YOU!! Now THAT would be a blast. Hugs, Robin
PS I think my hair is going to grow out a bit like a skunk. With a dark streak down the middle (top) of my head and a two white streaks ether side. I LOVE IT!!! I will wear it proudly! They can call me “Skunk Head”. LOLOL! Love you!!!
[Reply]
Trish Scott Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Oh skunk is a VERY striking look!
I think what we should do is get a big house to share with all the coolest people we are meeting here and share a nursing staff when we hit 100 or so
I can hear all the cackling now!
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